"Traditionally, the pinky swear is considered binding and tantamount to a handshake in terms of sealing a deal. The pinky swear originally indicated that the person who breaks the promise must cut off their pinky finger. In modern times, pinky swearing is a more informal way of sealing a promise." *I stole that from wikipedia.*
I don't think I made pinky promises until I was in high school... I had never really heard of it. I make them all the time with Brian (my man). We love to sit and tickle (or torture) each other and when we both can't take it anymore, we pinky promise to stop. Well, of course, I'm just waiting on the perfect time to strike again. So, this isn't much a letter, it's just a way to fill a spot.
The problem with most of these letters is that I could technically write most of them to the same person... but I want to try and write to as many different people as possible. I'm also trying to catch up on all of these so I went almost two weeks without writing one. Dammit. I know. I had a personal issues going on. I'm going to try and go back to writing just about every day... I pinky promise.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Friday, September 10, 2010
The Worst Times [day twenty.five]
Last week, I received a phone call that my grandfather had passed away. Close to a year ago, we found out he had cancer and it hit the entire family hard. This letter is to him...
Dear Pawpaw,
I'm thankful that I have memories with you and no one can take from me. I was lucky enough that I got to spend several Summer vacations with you. It seemed like you were always going and always busy with something, yet you included me in a lot of that and I'm grateful. Who knew that a child could find so much to hold onto in Anderson, South Carolina?
I remember the trips to go square dancing, the time I drove us to Florida, swimming in the pool... and many other things. I'm glad that my son actually got to experience that last Summer, before we knew you were sick. He had such a good time.
It breaks my heart... I hate that you had to go through all the pain and suffering. I always saw you as being healthy and in good shape... It was so hard to see you so sick. I'm sorry that I couldn't come see you more often. I couldn't bring myself to do it. I didn't want to remember you sick. I wanted to remember you as the man I grew up with. I hope you understood that. The last time I saw you was hard... I knew we would lose you soon. I wanted to make sure you knew I loved you. That was the last thing I said to you... "I love you"... I'm good with that. When we pulled out of the driveway that day, I knew it was the last time I would see you. I broke down. You were weak and that was the first time I had ever seen you that way.
In the days after you passed, I heard people telling stories about you. I learned some things that I didn't know... Joy also told a story from your last night. It assured me that you went peacefully. We will miss you so much. We all loved you and have memories that we'll never forget. Rest in peace, Pawpaw....
Please help find a cure for cancer.... Sterling Silver Together We Can Find A Cure Bracelet
Dear Pawpaw,
I'm thankful that I have memories with you and no one can take from me. I was lucky enough that I got to spend several Summer vacations with you. It seemed like you were always going and always busy with something, yet you included me in a lot of that and I'm grateful. Who knew that a child could find so much to hold onto in Anderson, South Carolina?
I remember the trips to go square dancing, the time I drove us to Florida, swimming in the pool... and many other things. I'm glad that my son actually got to experience that last Summer, before we knew you were sick. He had such a good time.
It breaks my heart... I hate that you had to go through all the pain and suffering. I always saw you as being healthy and in good shape... It was so hard to see you so sick. I'm sorry that I couldn't come see you more often. I couldn't bring myself to do it. I didn't want to remember you sick. I wanted to remember you as the man I grew up with. I hope you understood that. The last time I saw you was hard... I knew we would lose you soon. I wanted to make sure you knew I loved you. That was the last thing I said to you... "I love you"... I'm good with that. When we pulled out of the driveway that day, I knew it was the last time I would see you. I broke down. You were weak and that was the first time I had ever seen you that way.
In the days after you passed, I heard people telling stories about you. I learned some things that I didn't know... Joy also told a story from your last night. It assured me that you went peacefully. We will miss you so much. We all loved you and have memories that we'll never forget. Rest in peace, Pawpaw....
Please help find a cure for cancer.... Sterling Silver Together We Can Find A Cure Bracelet
Saturday, August 28, 2010
My Favorite Memory [day twenty.four]
The person that you me my favorite memory....If I lost my mind and could only keep one memory... I know exactly which one it would be. It was a Friday. About 10:15 in the morning. Almost ten years ago...
Dear Boo,
My sweet (not-so-little anymore) boy. You are the one that gave me my favorite memory... and you've given me so many more after that. From the moment I knew I was pregnant with you, I was terrified. Being young and not sure of where my life was about to take me, I had so many questions running through my mind. Will I be a good mom? Will I do the right things? How is my life about to change? There was one thing I knew for sure, I would love you with everything I had.
For almost three months, I was scared to tell anyone. I knew Nana and Papa would be upset because I was only seventeen. Once they found out things were stressful for a little while, but then they fell in love with you too (and you weren't even here yet). From the beginning, I felt like you were a boy (because normally, a mom doesn't find out if it's a boy or girl until about half-way through being pregnant). The day we actually got to see that you were a boy, I was so excited! I looked forward to all the things a dad usually does. The sports, bugs, camping....
I enjoyed being pregnant with you. I really did. I loved feeling you move around and I imagined what you would look like. I tried to think about how you would act. I was anxious about being a good mother and as the days got closer and closer, I loved you more and more. The day that I would hold you for the first time was getting closer. Finally, the last doctor appointment I would have while being pregnant. It was Thursday morning at about 11:00. I was ten days before the due date the doctor had given me, but I knew you would be here soon. Almost 12 hours later, my water broke.
I wasn't really that scared on the way to the hospital, but more excited. I had everything ready for you to get here... but I had no idea what I was about to go through. Labor and delivery wasn't that bad (from what I remember). Everything gets a little foggy from here. I remember Nana, Grandmother, your dad, and the nurses being in the room and that the doctor couldn't get to the room in time to deliver you. One of the nurses had to do it. You came quick (and then immediately peed on the nurse). Your cries were music to my ears. I remember looking at you and you were perfect. The sweetest little eyes, the cutest little lips, and the smallest button nose. It was 10:12 in the morning on Friday. I had been in the hospital for less than 12 hours.
As they checked you and cleaned you, I couldn't wait to get you back in my arms. It was official. I was a mom. I brought this tiny, 5lb 7oz, baby boy into this world. At some point in time, they checked your sugar count. It was way too low. I was told that you would be going to NICU right away. I'm hypoglycemic
, so I understood the urgency. This was one of the first times I remember having the feeling of fear. Unfortunately, that wasn't the only time your sugar dropped. There's more to the story, but let's fast forward for now. I have spent the last ten years, loving you incredibly! I will continue this letter to you at a later day... I want to thank you for giving me my favorite memory. The very first time I held you and looked at you... I don't want to ever forget that. I love you, Brian Michael. Forever and ever. All my heart.
Dear Boo,
My sweet (not-so-little anymore) boy. You are the one that gave me my favorite memory... and you've given me so many more after that. From the moment I knew I was pregnant with you, I was terrified. Being young and not sure of where my life was about to take me, I had so many questions running through my mind. Will I be a good mom? Will I do the right things? How is my life about to change? There was one thing I knew for sure, I would love you with everything I had.
For almost three months, I was scared to tell anyone. I knew Nana and Papa would be upset because I was only seventeen. Once they found out things were stressful for a little while, but then they fell in love with you too (and you weren't even here yet). From the beginning, I felt like you were a boy (because normally, a mom doesn't find out if it's a boy or girl until about half-way through being pregnant). The day we actually got to see that you were a boy, I was so excited! I looked forward to all the things a dad usually does. The sports, bugs, camping....
I enjoyed being pregnant with you. I really did. I loved feeling you move around and I imagined what you would look like. I tried to think about how you would act. I was anxious about being a good mother and as the days got closer and closer, I loved you more and more. The day that I would hold you for the first time was getting closer. Finally, the last doctor appointment I would have while being pregnant. It was Thursday morning at about 11:00. I was ten days before the due date the doctor had given me, but I knew you would be here soon. Almost 12 hours later, my water broke.
As they checked you and cleaned you, I couldn't wait to get you back in my arms. It was official. I was a mom. I brought this tiny, 5lb 7oz, baby boy into this world. At some point in time, they checked your sugar count. It was way too low. I was told that you would be going to NICU right away. I'm hypoglycemic
, so I understood the urgency. This was one of the first times I remember having the feeling of fear. Unfortunately, that wasn't the only time your sugar dropped. There's more to the story, but let's fast forward for now. I have spent the last ten years, loving you incredibly! I will continue this letter to you at a later day... I want to thank you for giving me my favorite memory. The very first time I held you and looked at you... I don't want to ever forget that. I love you, Brian Michael. Forever and ever. All my heart.Narrow-Minded People [day twenty.three]
This letter was supposed to be to the last person I kissed... but I've already written him a letter... I'm thinking about picking something to replace and the only thing I can think of it something that's been irritating me lately... Narrow-minded people. I posted photos of a same sex couple on my photography page. Within minutes, someone posted "This is disgusting and I'm very offended" Of course this immediately pisses me off. Not only am I offended by what they had just said, but this is on my business page.
It is 2010, people. Now, I'm not a religious person. My beliefs are different from organized religion (we'll touch on that in a different letter). I don't see how people can be so judgmental and narrow-minded. They call it preaching. They say that it's what the Bible says. I've read parts of the Bible and I'll be the first to admit that I haven't read the entire book, but I understand quite a bit of it.
This is what I sent to them in a private message: If you are "offended" that still doesn't give you a right to judge people. I would appreciate if you would keep rude comments off my page. You are free to look away. I welcome my photography to EVERY person, no matter what sex, shape, size, color, orientation, OR disability.Their response was: Well, I'm going to take this opportunity to share my testimony with you. I am a Christian, a follower of Jesus Christ. And as such I follow what the Bible says. God says men with men is an abomination. If my comment is judgmental it is because I am following what the Bible says. People make judgments all the time. You have to make decisions about what is right and wrong. In today's society I realize that this is not considered wrong, but God says it is. I am not ashamed of Jesus and don't want to just slink away with out saying something. I don't want to be rude, but I do want to share what is the truth.
Last I checked, men aren't supposed to judge, that's God's job. In my opinion, I would rather see a world full of love than to have it full of hate. To me, what this person is doing is hate and it's ignorant. Also, things change. The Bible was written in a completely different time than what we have now. As far as same sex relationships, they have been around since the beginning of time. I feel like there are so many people that use religion as a reason to be rude. That comment will probably piss a few people off, but this is my opinion, and you have yours. What will those people do if their children (or a family member) announce that they are gay or lesbian? Would they then disown a loved one because it's "an abomination"? If this is truly what you feel, then I don't see how you live with yourselves. I could go for hours on this subject. I'm not trying to tell people not to believe in the Bible. I'm not trying to say that I want you to change your beliefs. I'm just trying to make people realize that two people loving each other should be enough, no matter what background those two people have. Until then, buy the book I posted and read it.
It is 2010, people. Now, I'm not a religious person. My beliefs are different from organized religion (we'll touch on that in a different letter). I don't see how people can be so judgmental and narrow-minded. They call it preaching. They say that it's what the Bible says. I've read parts of the Bible and I'll be the first to admit that I haven't read the entire book, but I understand quite a bit of it.
This is what I sent to them in a private message: If you are "offended" that still doesn't give you a right to judge people. I would appreciate if you would keep rude comments off my page. You are free to look away. I welcome my photography to EVERY person, no matter what sex, shape, size, color, orientation, OR disability.Their response was: Well, I'm going to take this opportunity to share my testimony with you. I am a Christian, a follower of Jesus Christ. And as such I follow what the Bible says. God says men with men is an abomination. If my comment is judgmental it is because I am following what the Bible says. People make judgments all the time. You have to make decisions about what is right and wrong. In today's society I realize that this is not considered wrong, but God says it is. I am not ashamed of Jesus and don't want to just slink away with out saying something. I don't want to be rude, but I do want to share what is the truth.
Last I checked, men aren't supposed to judge, that's God's job. In my opinion, I would rather see a world full of love than to have it full of hate. To me, what this person is doing is hate and it's ignorant. Also, things change. The Bible was written in a completely different time than what we have now. As far as same sex relationships, they have been around since the beginning of time. I feel like there are so many people that use religion as a reason to be rude. That comment will probably piss a few people off, but this is my opinion, and you have yours. What will those people do if their children (or a family member) announce that they are gay or lesbian? Would they then disown a loved one because it's "an abomination"? If this is truly what you feel, then I don't see how you live with yourselves. I could go for hours on this subject. I'm not trying to tell people not to believe in the Bible. I'm not trying to say that I want you to change your beliefs. I'm just trying to make people realize that two people loving each other should be enough, no matter what background those two people have. Until then, buy the book I posted and read it.
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