My Crush [day two]

Most people would go with "the obvious" (the significant other), but oh no! Not me. Ever since I can remember, I've been a boy trapped in a girls body. Not in some "I want to get a sex change" kind of way. I've just never been very "girly-girl" (except for emotionally). So, the older I get, the more I realize that boy is gay. I love my gay boys and I can't help it. With that.... here's the letter to my crush. He is an amazing musician with a heart-melting voice.

Dear Jay Brannan,
         You are such a beautiful person, not only physically lol, but mentally. I stumbled across your talent with perfect timing. In 2008, my life took a huge turn (the worst year of my life, to date) and I went even further into a depression I had already battled for 3 years. I would stay in the bed until I had to pee so bad it forced me to get up. Even then, I would go pee and get back in bed. To make matters worse, I would obsessively search YouTube daily for the saddest songs I could think of and force as many tears out of my face as I could. Most of the time, making myself physically sick.
         Some how, I managed to pull up this cute boy playing a guitar. The song was "Soda Shop" and it was the first time I had actually "perked up" in months. I clicked the next song . Then, the next one and that was the moment I fell in love with your music. (That's also the moment I was 100% sure that you were indeed, a gay boy, which only made me love you more). It was March or April of 2008 (I'm pretty sure) and I sat down the next day and watched every single video from the beginning. I started telling everyone I knew that they had to listen to your songs. I felt that I had found someone to relate to me. Less often, I wanted to curl up in the fetal position on a bathroom floor and die. Life still really fucking sucked, but at least I had Jay Brannan! That sounds obsessive, huh? Well, that was the state of mind I was in.
         With my birthday fast approaching, you announced that you were coming to Atlanta! (The day after my birthday!) I bought those tickets so damn fast I was quite possibly the first person to purchase. Your music became a daily routine for me. I would listen to a few songs in the morning, go to work and sing them all day. It was July 18th and I stood outside Vinyl waiting to go in, anxious to see the man that had basically rescued me from depression (while singing songs about depression - crazy, I know).
          I guess the whole reason for this letter is to let you know that you do inspire people! You have a way of impacting someones life and I really don't know if I could have pulled out of those moments in my life without you and your music. Jay, I would grow a penis for you. No worries, I'm not some psycho bitch that wants to own a pair of your underwear and to know every detail about your life. I'm just a girl that needed someone at some of the worst times of my life, and you were that someone. Thank you for doing what you do... and no! I don't regret the tattoo..... yet.
                                                       Your Fellow Housewife
                                                                       xo
(Oh wow... this makes me sound like a stalker, huh? Fuck.)

2009